Let You Down
by Shimmerwind
Summary: /'How do I bring down a monster..? '/ He was a logical abomination, a medical miracle, a mystery that the man couldn't figure out. He was an immovable object, indestructible, yet he was also an unstoppable force, refusing to be tamed. The man wanted to destroy him, ruin him... He was already broken, but the man would play despite, and now... Now, Orihara Izaya had the perfect game.


**Well, to begin, this is not my first Durarara fanfiction... It is just the first I've posted. As much as I adore Shizaya/Izuo, this may end up as a friendship fic... but it also may not, I'm not sure.**

**This is really a side project for me, as are all of my numerous fanfictions I've started without posting lately. My primary focus is on my original work, namely a novel I have started, called /The Phoenix Falling/, though the title is not yet absolute. My secondary focus is going into a Durarara project I won't be posting until considerably more progress is made on it, so pretty much an indefinite amount of time. It will be called /The Smallest Pebble/, so keep an eye out! That one is likely to be a friendship fic as well but I'm pretty on the fence for both of these.**

**Chapters with this will be shorter than y'all are used to with me, maybe... No more 12k chapters, sorry! xD But don't label this one as a precedent. Regular chapters are many times longer than this is, believe me, but I couldn't find many ways to continue this intro properly.**

**Sorry for my extended and still indefinitely prolonged hiatus here; I hope to be doing more writing, now that I roleplay much less and am more or less relapsing and thus have more writing drive.**

**One last thing - this fanfiction will basically be taking the place of the aforementioned story, /Control Freaks/, as I am combining the plots. I couldn't see a future for either of the stories, but I do like the combination and can see the ending a bit more clearly.**

**Rated T for a reason. Sensitive material ahead, including self-harm.**

**"Let You Down" by Three Days Grace.**

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><p><em>Trust me<em>

_I'll be there when you need me_

_You'll be safe here_

_When you finally trust me_

_Finally believe in me_

_._

_I will let you down_

_I'll let you down, I'll_

_When you finally trust me_

_Finally believe in me_

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><p><em>Let You Down<em>

_Introduction_

_Bringing Down a Monster_

_By Shimmerwind_

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><p><em><span>-November 1st-<span>_

_'How do I bring down a monster.'_

He was a logical abomination, a medical miracle, a mystery that the man couldn't figure out. He was an immovable object, indestructible, yet he was also an unstoppable force, refusing to be tamed.

_'How do I bring down a monster?'_

He was the embodiment of mayhem and the prayer of peace. Every step that he took, every move that he made, every breath that filled his lungs, was a mistake, a flaw in the man's tediously woven web of knowledge and divinity. The only thing the man could predict about him was that he was unpredictable - then, now, and forevermore.

_'How do I bring down a monster?!'_

The man hated him. He was violent, temperamental, hormonal as a teenage girl but infinitely more dangerous. He was trigger-happy when angered, and he was always angry. He was untouchable and unable to be manipulated, and for that, the man hated him. The man loathed him, despised him, wanted to break him down morsel by morsel until nothing recognizable was left.

_'Heiwajima Shizuo...'_

The man stated down venomously at his game board, glaring at the small white piece surrounded by black. The piece was round, circular, and it's surrounding players were identical save for the pigment. The man's smirk was not present as he studiously watched the game piece, as if waiting for movement. Then, as if something snapped in the man's mind, the board was thrown off the table with an uncharacteristic roar of fury. Expensive marble players clattered to the floor, and the man fell back onto the couch, calming himself.

_'...how do I bring you down?'_

The man glanced at the white piece on the ground. It was lone as it sat there, no black around it. Curiously, the white piece sat on its side, the way a coin might when balanced with care. It stood confidently, balancing itself tall and strong. However, a last rolling black piece approached it, hit it, and they both crashed to the floor, the white no longer standing. A smirk touched the lips of the man once again, because finally, he might win.

_'...I've got it.'_

_He_ was a monster, and the man was a spectator, but now...

...Now, the man was going on the offensive.

_'I've got it, you monster.'_

The monster would be manipulated.

_'The monster will be brought down...'_

Orihara Izaya chuckled darkly.

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><p>He slid the razor across his skin for the fourth time, watching as crimson bubbled to the surface. A thin yet deep line ran from the middle of his wrist to his elbow pit, the last of his set of two per arm for the day. The bloo of the twin's laceration was already dripping, and so the newest addition rushed to meet it's sibling. Large droplets finally rolled off his skin, into the sink below, and he was mesmerized.<p>

Underneath staining gauze and a characteristic black-and-white sleeve, his other arm was in the same state.

He grinned at the pain - no, that was not it. He was not a masochist in the slightest. In fact, he rather hated pain, which explained why this strategy was so disgustingly lovely. Pain brought him control, you see. As long as he bled, as long as feeling was there in his otherwise numb skin, he could have the control he so desired.

If he lost his control, that horrid yet beautiful pain would dance along his arm. He would be able to regain it, even if the feat was only to stop the scathing fire. He would never lose control for long, not with this...

...But lately, he had been more stressed. He felt something dark on the horizon, and had thus been a bit more resistant to the pain. He had ben losing his control too easily, was having a harder time gaining it back.

It only took a flashback to the day's routine run of parkour and property damage, combined with his other thoughts, to make his mind up.

Little did he know, he himself would craft the perfect entrance for the darkness, and he alone.

A knock sounded on his front door, but he ignored it. He locked it anyway, right? Maybe not. However, he doubted that they would just let themselves in. He was a monster, after all, the Monster of Ikebukkuro.

The man rose his blade once more, a scowl marring his attractive face. A third slice met its brothers and sisters on his right arm, diagonal from the top of the outside one to the bottom of the inside.

There was a problem.

His amber eyes widened as, almost immediately, crimson leaked from the slice. It was flowing quickly, much too quickly for comfort, and wasn't showing signs of stopping. In fact, the stream was growing thicker and steadier as seconds ticked past.

He already cut as deep as he could without hitting something important, so... He had cut too deep. That was made obvious as a sudden bout of dizziness hit him and sent him to the ground, falling against the wall of his bathroom. He had already lost blood, and now this... He wouldn't last much longer.

He began to hyperventilate as the blood just. Didn't. Stop. This was not control. How could he control his anger and violence if he couldn't control a measly laceration? Black edged his vision as a puddle of crimson pooled beneath his arm on the floor.

He had lost control.

But maybe, it was for the better. Maybe it was for the better if he didn't rise again. Such thoughts had been plaguing him for years, thoughts that perhaps there wasn't a reason to continue. He destroyed every fiber his fingertips came into contact with, animate or inanimate alike. The only reason he had never acted on his impulses, was not because he was a coward. It was because, should he relinquish his life, he would relinquish his control, his self-control, and that was more terrifying than anything life had thrown at him as of yet.

And now... Now, he had lost control, anyway.

He had lost control...

/'Damn it!'/ he thought frantically, still hyperventilating, as the black and red grew larger both, /'I lost control!'/

Heiwajima Shizuo blacked out, just as the bathroom door was flung open.

Kishitani Shinra gasped.

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><p><strong>Well, that ends the introduction. Future chapters will be longer, if there are many future chapters. Feedback determines if I continue, due to my schedule. So, if you like it, tell me! If not, tell me anyway! Also, feedback on my writing skills as a whole would be appreciated, as I'm always working to better my writing (especially since I will be publishing).<strong>

**In case you didn't pick up on it, Shizuo is "he" and Izaya is "the man". Don't worry, it's just for the introduction.**

**Thank you for reading, and sorry for the shortness!**


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